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me:  I'm pretty sure I would marry every single Avenger.
obnoxious friend:  Black Widow is an Avenger.
me:  Did I fucking stutter?

77,025 plays

chapsnats:

if u are about to get stabbed just say “I have too much swagger for the dagger” and they will leave u alone

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metrowolf:

sexy-fandoms:

alfred-f-jones-world-hero:

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this is Alice in Wonderland

all of these are fuckin weird I want 20 of each

thecorinediaries:

prewetts:

jordanleeemerson:

secretgaygent:

rnints:

imagine if girls used the same style of joke to degrade men like “cool story bro now go chop some lumber”

GO CHOP SOME LUMBER

"what r u doing out of the garage go fix my car"

"Don’t you have something to fix somewhere."